The Scheme of a Fan
by pikaree1
Summary: Once upon a time, a NaLu fan thought it would be great fun to see Natsu and Lucy get married. After recieving a message from her father, Lucy knows she must marry before some royal pig claims her. Natsu just discovered that the parents of the wedded normally attend the wedding. All logical plans are blocked with the supreme power of plot convenience. Oneshot


**Horologium: "So... yeah... My first Fairy Tail fanfic! Hope you enjoy! I don't own Fairy Tail!" the author announces hopefully.**

Natsu and Lucy had just stepped out of the guild building after reporting back to Makarov after a mission. "That crab thing didn't stand a chance against Happy," Natsu snickered.

"No kidding," Lucy agreed. "But I still don't understand why those wizards made it a crab out of all things. It-"

"'Scuuuuuuuuse meeeeee! I have a message for a Ms. Lucy Heartfilia!" _'And future Mrs. Dragneel… Heh heh…' _Natsu and Lucy turned to see a red-haired girl racing towards them. "I… have a… message for you… Ms… Heartfilia…" the girl panted as she caught her breath. "It's from your… annoying, greedy, selfish, no good, money-grubbing father."

Lucy froze. "From… my father…?" Then she fainted. Don't tell anyone, but it was the red-haired girl's fault.

Natsu caught her- get why the kid caused it to happen?- and turned to the girl. "What's the message, uh…"

"Petal," she introduced herself. "I'm the auth-" She slapped a hand over her mouth. "Pretend you never heard that!"

"Heard what?" he asked.

She grinned. "That's the way!" Then she skipped into the guild. "Might as well get some work done while I'm here! Let's see now… Graaaaaayzaaaaa~! Where aaaaaaare youuuuuu~!" Then she spotted Levy talking to Gajeel. "Ooooh! GaLe!"

"She talks more than Lucy," Happy declared.

Lucy stirred. "Urgh…"

"Oh, she's awake!" exclaimed Natsu.

"Aye!" Guess who.

Petal was in front of them in an instant. "Ah, I'm so glad you woke up! Your father issued a challenge: if you can't find a man to marry in a week, you have to marry some royal pig he chose." _'I'm so glad I suggested this idea to Mr. Heartfilia!'_

Lucy paled. "I can't fall in love that fast!"

Petal shoved her open palm in Lucy's direction. "Hold that thought!" Then she turned to Natsu. "Hey, did you know that during weddings, the bride's and groom's families usually attend?"

His eyes widened. "Then… does that mean that if I got married, Igneel would come?!"

_'You're smarter than I give you credit for, but you're still easily manipulated.' _"It's a strong possibility!" she answered.

Natsu started running out the door. "'Kay, I'm gonna go find a girl to marry me!"

_'I take back what I said. He's as stupid as they get.' _She grabbed him by his scarf. "Hold it, pyromaniac! You're looking for a bride. Your partner Lucy is looking for a groom who she can stand. If you don't figure this out, I'm gonna pound my head against the wall."

Natsu frowned and thought. "Um…"

* * *

><p><strong>Two hours later<strong>

* * *

><p>"…I don't get it."<p>

Petal, true to her word, bashed the wall with her head. "You! Dense! Idiot! You just marry Lucy! You get a wedding, Lucy gets her victory, and I get my NaLu! It's so simple! Now you two go talk to Mirajane about the wedding arrangements while I go help along the Grayza couple!"

Laxus showed up out of plot convenience- and a certain someone's influence over the plot. "How come Natsu gets the cutie?" he smirked.

Petal whacked him upside the head with her gigantic Mallet of Doom™. After all, that was the reason why he was called.

Juvia popped up out of nowhere. "Juvia does not like Grayza! Juvia much prefers Gruvia!" she exclaimed. "Is Erza also one of Juvia's rivals in love?"

Petal grinned wolfishly. _'With me in charge?'_ "You betcha!"

Juvia gasped. At that precise moment, Erza walked in. "Juvia. Do you know where Gray is?"

Petal jumped up and down in excitement. "You're Erza! Erza Scarlet!" She smirked evilly. _'And the future Mrs. Fullbuster if I have anything to say about it. Well, except if something happens… I'm only up to volume twenty-six, after all…' _"I happen to be looking for Gray as well! You can help me find him!" she sang out, dragging off Erza in a random direction through the power of plot convenience.

Juvia began to seeth even though Erza had only wanted to discuss a mission with Gray. "Juvia cannot accept! Juvia cannot forgive!" she screamed. Some tourists ran away without even taking a picture.

* * *

><p>When Lucy stepped out of her apartment, clad in a wedding gown, Erza smirked with satisfaction as she admired her handiwork. "See, Lucy? I told you I had connections in Heart Kreuz. Now let's hope Natsu agreed to a human wedding instead of a dragon one."<p>

Levy sweatdropped. "I read that at dragon weddings, the females wear a wreath of flowers, but I also read that the males don't dress up at all- not even a bow tie."

Petal smirked. "Relax, wouldja? I made a bet with Happy- if he could get Natsu into a tux and keep him in a tux, a certain seafood store would be cleaned out."

Lucy sweatdropped. "Okay, but there's another problem. Who's going to give me away?"

Petal froze. "I… hadn't thoguht that far yet," she admitted sheepishly.

Mirajane smiled. "Why, Master will, of course. He views us all as his children."

The girls all stepped into the magic car and prayed like their very lives depended on it- actually, they probably did- as Erza took the wheel.

The girls huddled together, seatbelts tightly in place, and the last words heard were Petal's whimpered, "I hate roller coasters."

When they arrived, Lucy was shocked to see Natsu wearing a tuxedo, and his scarf had somehow been folded into a tie. "Happy actually did it?!"

Petal smiled in relief. "It wasn't Happy. My wallet's safe!"

Lucy looked around and spotted her father with a scowl on his face talking to a man with spiky red hair.

"Let's find out what they're talking about!" Levy whispered. "C'mon!"

They crept up behind the two men. "Anyway, I'm glad my son's finally getting married," the red-haired man said. "Natsu's a good boy, but I honestly never believed he'd be able to catch a girl, let alone one from a prestigious family."

_'Wait, son?' _thought Lucy. _'But Natsu said Igneel was a dragon! Wait… maybe this is his biological father?'_

Her theory proved wrong when Natsu tackled the man from behind. "Igneel!" he shouted. "You really did come!"

The man laughed. "Sorry for leaving so abruptly, Natsu. See, I and several others were pulled from our children that day: me from you, Metallicana from Gajeel, Grandine from Wendy, Layla Heartfilia from the very girl you're marrying. It's good to be back! I'm all fired up!"

Lucy stared. _''All fired up?' He's Natsu's father, no doubt about it.'_

Mr. Heartfilia glared at Lucy. "You may have won the challenge, but you will regret it. I'm sure the boy sweet-talked you, but you will soon see how uncouth he really is."

"Oh, please!" Lucy scoffed. "He breaks into my house on a daily basis, is a glutton, is a dense idiot, and you think I don't know he's uncouth?! I dunno what kinda prince you had picked out for me, but I know he'd have way more manners than Natsu." Mr. Heartfilia smiled smugly, but Lucy continued, "However! He wouldn't protect me like Natsu would! He wouldn't care about others like Natsu would! And most importantly, he wouldn't love me like Natsu would! So chew on that!" Then Lucy marched away towards Levy, completely unaware that Mirajane had filmed the whole thing.

"I thought Igneel was a dragon," Levy said with a frown.

"Aye, he is. That's just an illusion," Happy explained. "It breaks on awareness, kind of like the charm spell."

"Really?" the girls asked in unison. Igneel's image flickered and became that of a fearsome dragon.

"Start the wedding already!" Cana hollered.

Makarov made himself bigger in what the author likes to call his protective papa form and Lucy took his arm. They walked down the isle, Wendy trailing behind them with a basket of flowers, and Lucy was transferred from Makarov's arm to Natsu's as wedding music played. I don't have much knowledge on weddings, so feel free to imagine what it would be like with Wendy as the flower girl, Romeo as the ring-bearer, Gray as the best man, and Levy as the maid of honor! Now, a word from our author. "…Yeah, I know I'm being a lazy author. I'm sorry. Back to you, Mister Narrator."

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><p><strong>After the wedding<strong>

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><p>"I'm shocked it went so smoothly," Lucy sighed.<p>

Natsu blinked. "Really? Why?"

"You're destructive, that's why."

"Whatever!" he said happily. "I got to see Igneel, and now you can't freak out at me whenever I'm at your house!"

"Huh…?"

"Married couples live together, right?"

Lucy's jaw dropped. She hadn't even taken that into account. She hadn't even thought about the repurcussions…! It was that kid's fault. All her fault.

"Hey, Lucy?"

She looked up.

Natsu grinned at her. "Thanks."

"Thanks? For what?" she asked comfusedly.

"For giving me the chance to see Igneel again. You're the best!"

As he continued to walk towards his new wife's house, Lucy froze and blushed. _'No, thank you…'_

**Petal: So. Didja like my story? Please review!**


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